


Hanging around the flat with Sherlock and John: Microfill Collection

by CaffieneKitty



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Books, Community: sherlockbbc_fic, Dialogue-Only, Domestic, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Gen, Het Perviness, Humor, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Random & Short, Severed Head mockery, Silly, the last is a canon divergence and dark humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-15
Updated: 2011-01-15
Packaged: 2017-12-31 22:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1037230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffieneKitty/pseuds/CaffieneKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three Conversation-style Comment-fics with no other connection than they all take place inside 221B. They are all humor and, in order, silly, pervy and dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hanging around the flat with Sherlock and John: Microfill Collection

**Author's Note:**

> _Originally posted on Livejournal January 15, 2011 form the original postings on the Meme._

**Prompt: Write Sherlock's reaction while reading the nearest book to you.**  
 _Originally posted[here](http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/5564.html?thread=21974972#t21974972)._

 

"Done it. Done it. Done it. That wouldn't work at all. Done it..."

"What are you reading?"

"Mycroft's idea of a joke."

"'The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook'?"

"Yes."

"And you've done that much out of it?"

"Yes. Hazards of the job."

"You've seriously wrestled an alligator?"

"The case with Mrs. Hudson's husband was in Florida, and it wasn't as though it was an intentional alligator-wrestling incident."

"Ah. Well, you do lead a hazardous life, I suppose this is just his way of saying he worries, wants you to be safe, be careful and all that."

"No."

"No?"

"He sent it for you, John."

"Oh."

 

\- -

 

 **In response to a random non-prompt involving yogurt and the Sherlock DVD cover.**  
 _Originally posted anonymously[here.](http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/5880.html?thread=21475832#t21475832) _  
Warning: Mildly pervy.

 

"John, why are you licking that DVD case?"

"Oh! I didn't know you were in!"

"Evidently I am."

"I just spilled some beans on the cover, so I'm licking it off."

"The question then becomes why are you eating beans on toast overtop of a DVD of... 'Tomb Raider'?"

"I, uh, didn't want to spill any on my trousers?"

"We do have trays."

"It's... I... Oh hell, it's Angelina Jolie for Christ's sake, Sherlock! I like a little fantasy with my breakfast."

"Ah. Well then. I should point out you've missed a spot by her left hip."

 

Bonus Icon (made at the request of an anon person at the meme):  


 

\- -

 

 **Prompt: One of the heads in the fridge turns out to be someone John knows.**  
 _Originally posted anonymously[here.](http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/5880.html?thread=22768632#t22768632)_  
Warning: Dark Humour.

 

John liked opening the fridge lately, because he knew who was in it. He was pretty sure that was very very wrong but didn't care. He smirked at the severed head as he dug around in the veg drawer underneath it for something edible.

"You know," he said to the head, conspiratorially, "when Sherlock's done doing whatever he's going to do to you, I'm going to stuff firecrackers into all your sinus cavities and set them off. Tit for tat, so to speak."

"John," Sherlock called from the sitting room, "if you're done gloating for the afternoon, could you close the fridge? He'll start to go off soon."

"In a minute," John called back. He pulled a slightly limp stick of celery out of the veg drawer and munched on it, still smirking.

_He was right about the look of surprise, but not right about how long we'd get to relish it._

"John?"

"Closing it now!" John tucked the leafy end of the celery stalk behind Moriarty's left ear with a grin, then gave a Three Stooges-like "Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!" and poked the head in both eyes at once.

Moriarty's head rocked backwards slightly on its neck stump before returning upright, celery drooping from its ear but shocked expression intact.

John chortled and closed the door.

\- - -  
(that's all)


End file.
